How To Help Children And Youth That Are Self-Critical Or A Perfectionist
Without support this habit can diminish taking chances necessary for successful and satisfying life and learning. Learning is often about making mistakes and trying again. Children & youth who are self-critical can defeat themselves before they start. This attitude often stops children & youth from enjoying their successes. This can often be covered by unrealistic confidence and bravado. Children & youth become self-critical to reduce expectations placed upon them. Being self-critical/perfectionistic can be due to and complicated by a combination of factors: low self-esteem; ineffective family communication skills; family patterns of criticism and belittlement; physical and/or emotional discomfort caused by unhealed accidents (especially even slight damage to the spine or head); traumas, abuses of all kinds; nutritional imbalances; exposure to environmental pollutants. Children & youth enjoy learning and living much more when they get over this habit.
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First, We Would Investigate |
Second, We Would Investigate |
For Long Term Support |
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On Our Own We Would Try: • Wholesome Pleasures • Replace sodas, juices, sugars, fats, fast foods with water, veggies, whole grains, nuts, protein, fruit, slow food • Long Walks/Hikes • Bedtime Stories and Chats • Back Rubs and Foot Massages • Nature • Pets • Less or No TV, Movies, Video/Computer Games |
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For Parents: • Model unconditional love. • Avoid trying to convince your child or youth not to be self-critical. • Let them know you don’t feel that way about their accomplishments, character, talents, appearance, etc. • Play games of making mistakes and laughing about it. • Get support from other parents whose children or youth do this. |